


Bonecrusher

by mermabeasts



Category: Frühlings Erwachen | Spring Awakening - Frank Wedekind, Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Drabble, Engagement, Fluff, M/M, Modern Era, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, also i spent a lot of words on this bit with georg and bread dont ask why i dont know, and i wrote this in a day, slight violence: ernst gets hit with a pillow because he told one too many bad jokes, the name of this isn't a kink thing I promise, this is... very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 13:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14113665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermabeasts/pseuds/mermabeasts
Summary: Hanschen and Ernst realize that hyphenating their last name sounds gross, so they try to figure out logistics and Ernst won't take it seriously.





	Bonecrusher

**Author's Note:**

> Corn wanted me to name this fic B O N E C R U S H E R and so I did it because I'm weak and had no better ideas

“We have something to announce to you all” Hanschen was holding hands with Ernst as he looked around the room at their friends they had invited over for dinner. “I’ll let you tell it” he turned toward Ernst.

“Okay… We’re engaged!”

Ilse looked confused. “I thought you were already engaged?”

“No, they just act like it.” said Georg, mouth full of bread.

Ernst frowned. “I told you if you keep doing that you're not getting invited back again.”

“And now we have the power to uninvite any of you to our wedding. So stay off your bullshit” Hanschen added.

Thea turned to Melchior who was half paying attention “Oooh, looks like someone’s gonna have to be nice to Hanschen for a while.”

Melchior feigned offense. “Rude! I’m always nice to him!”

Otto mimicked Pinocchio's nose growing to Georg, who almost snorted out his bread.

Wendla and Moritz seemed to be getting gradually more and more excited. “I’m so happy for you two! Moritz and I have already started a wedding lookbook! I can’t wait to show you!” Ernst was almost offended he got left out of the vision board party, but he decided not to be mad about it.

“Have you thought about your last names yet?” asked Martha.

“We’re probably just going to hyphenate” replied Hanschen, having not thought about their last names yet.

“Yeah that seems like what most people do anyway” Ernst agreed.

“No offense but you might want to give that more thought, Robel-Rilow doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue” Ilse added, “Or Rilow-Robel”

“Eh, we’ll talk about that later I guess. We haven’t really worked out some of the details yet,” Hanschen shrugged, “or any of the details”

The dinner went on with only one more scolding from Ernst about Georg talking with his mouth full of bread (where was he getting all that bread?) and Melchior spilling soup all over his book which, Ernst decided, was justified because you’re not supposed to read at the table anyway. After the guests left, and the couple had finished cleaning up, Ernst sat down on the couch next to his fiance.

“So what do you think we’re going to do with our names? I think Ilse is right about hyphenating…” Ernst trailed off.

“I don’t know? I know some people who have just picked entirely new last names. So that’s possible, I guess.”

“What last name would you want?”

“Uhhh. I don’t know actually,” Hanschen sat thinking, “We can’t use the name of anyone we know so Stiefel, Bessell, Neumann, Bergman, Gabor, Lammermeir, and Zirschnitz are off the list.”

“That’s fine. I don’t think I even know how to spell Zirschnitz,” Ernst admitted. “Actually, it might be worth it to change our last name to Gabor just to see the look on Melchior’s face.”

Hanschen tried really hard not to laugh. “Dear, you know I support you, but I draw the line at tying myself to Melchior until death do us part.”

“Fair enough. We could be Hanschen and Ernst Sonnenstich…”

“No. That means Sunstroke in German. I’m not naming myself Sunstroke,” Hanschen said.

“What about Knochenbruch?”

“That means broken bone, Ernst”

“Oooh, Hanschen, we could be the **B O N E C R U S H E R** family”

“Ernst no.”

“Think about it Hansi.”

“I did, and I’m vetoing it.”

“Okay, how about Omnivore-Capitalist then?”

“I thought we agreed no hyphenations.”

“Milkskimmer”

“Ernst, please,”

“Aregay”

“Ernst I swear to God.”

“It would be funny!”

“It’s not even proper grammar!”

“Yes it is, Ernst and Hanschen Aregay.”

“That would make your name Ernst Aregay.”

“Oh”

“If you’re not going to take this seriously I’m just going to hyphenate our names.”

“Eww nooo Hanschen don’t,” Ernst said through laughter.

“Then take this seriously!” He said, but there was no bite behind his threat. They sat in silence for a minute thinking.

Hanschen spoke up first, “You know… I actually wouldn’t mind taking Robel”

“Wait are you kidding?” a smile growing on Ernst’s face.

“No, I’m actually rather fond of it” Hanschen put his arm around his fiance, “I’d love to take your name”

Tears started to streak down Ernst’s face.

“Babe are you okay?” He asked, wiping away the tear with his sleeve.

“Yeah i’m fine… It’s just…. I’m really, really, so incredibly happy right now. We’re getting married, Hanschen.” He buried his head into his lover’s chest.

“I know. I never thought I could be so happy” Hanschen fought back tears, “I love you so much Ernst.”

“And I love you too, Hansi.” Ersnt lifted his head and smiled, “I'm also just really glad I don't have to fill out all the paperwork to change my name.”

Hanschen threw a pillow at him.

“I won't have to deal with Target customer service! Hansi! Think of all the time I'll save!” Ernst giggled as he was pelted with pillows by his boyfriend.

“I hate you.”

“You’re marrying me.”

“And I'm taking your name. I must really love you.”

“I love you too, Hanschen Robel.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks Ex Moritz Gay Farmer (Mattie) and Ernst, A Known Fig Scratcher (Connor) because this was mostly just us riffing off each other and I stole some of your shit word for word and wrote this


End file.
